Fitness and Sex
On this podcast episode I sit down with Ash, also known as That Fit Sex Coach. She is a former health and fitness coach transformed into sex confidence and fitness coach. She’s competed in NPC bikini competitions, and is a busy mom of three, an entrepreneur, and has been in the military for 17 years. If anybody knows busy, it’s Ash, and she is compassionate about helping busy women and couples feel sexy and confidently naked throughout life.
How does fitness impact your sex life?
First of all, a lot of fitness coaches in the industry don’t touch on the aspect of how fitness impacts your sex life. It’s goes beyond the actual act of sex. It’s how women truly feel in their bodies, even before they get into the bedroom to have sex. It’s beyond just going to the gym. When we think about it, the initial thought that most people have with sex and fitness is it’s gonna help me be better in sexual positions, help me performing better. The thought process is performance based and not truly looking at the deeper side of how it impacts women in the bedroom, and how a woman feels in their body. Because that’s big. A lot of women enter fitness, truthfully, because of how they see themselves in the mirror, what they see. That’s what they want to change. They don’t realize the deeper level that it takes for the transformation that they’re desiring and how much it’s impacting them with their partner and themselves.
What is it about fitness that improves women’s sex lives, aside from of body confidence?
When you when you think about it, your libido, your sex drive, your desire for sex, it’s higher when you’re active, and it’s lower when you’re not. Stress, depression, and anxiety, all of these reduces that desire for sex. Fitness comes into play because it increases the endorphins. It increases that feel good hormone that we have, and it also increases our desire for wanting to have sex. Think about the blood flow that increases while you’re having sex, blood flow increases to your organs, including your sex organs. It is said that the best time to have sex is after you work out because you’ll have an even more intense orgasm. It’s more juicy. You’ve already got all the blood flowing into your organs. Use it as a motivation. You’re not only improving your overall health, you are also improving your sexual health. Of course working out also helps with flexibility so you are able to get into those positions that you desire that you skip when you’re not flexible enough. So yes, it increases your sex drive and it increases your endorphins.
Are there like certain exercises that you recommend to improve your sex life?
I actually have a free guide that has my top 5 recommended exercises in it that will help you spice up your sex life and get into these desired positions. Within that guide, it also talks about the benefits of these five exercises in improving your sex life. But, my top go-to is for cardiovascular health. You need stamina. You need endurance. I’m not saying you need to run for an hour, or do a marathon or things like that. No, but you do need cardiovascular health. So if you enjoy HIIT, do a quick 15-20 minute HIIT. If you enjoy swimming or cycling, do that. Do things that you enjoy. I can give you these exercises but you’re not likely to do them if you don’t enjoy them. When thinking about what exercises you might do, think about movements that correlate to sex and what you would do in the bedroom. One of your go-tos might be things that involve your glutes because you want to have a strong pelvis, strong hip muscles, your hip flexors and all of these, so glute bridges and squats and things like that. Strengthen your core. Planks are really really good for strengthening your core.
How much cardio do you recommend?
The emphasis is on finding something you love. It could be dancing, pole dancing, twerking, running, or it could be just flowing and moving your body. Also the incline treadmill. All of these are good choices. They all will get your heart rate up, and that is what is important. And what you like now may be different than what you like 6 months or a year from now. As you change, the things that you like and that bring you pleasure changes. So, being open to learning new things is what you need to be able to do. A lot of women are not open to trying these new things, but you don’t know if you’re going to enjoy a twerk class. You may walk in there and think, “Oh my god, this is the best thing I’ve ever done!” Allow yourself to be open to trying new things because just because it doesn’t fit the standard of what fitness is supposed to look like, doesn’t mean it’s not fitness for you, and it’s not something that you enjoy and that turns you on. That’s so important. I wouldn’t be doing anything that I do not like. Think about what your goals are, but realistically what is it that you desire to do? And stop trying to compare yourself to all these Instagram models and things that are online. Because what they’re doing to sustain that is probably not what you’re looking for, in a realistic living life situation.
What is something that you recommend for the women who are avoiding intimacy to hide their body?
A lot of women turn off the lights, wear bigger clothes, etc. to not be seen and a lot of it is because they are on comfortable in their body. They are truthfully unhappy with what they see, and they think that’s reflecting into the bedroom and potentially what their partner may be thinking as well. It’s so important to know yourself on a deep, intimate level, not just saying affirmations and that type of thing. You have to go deeper into that journey of learning who it is that you are, learning where the story came from of why it is that you have that shame in the bedroom with your body. And then dig even deeper than that. Do more self pleasure, and I’m not speaking masturbating or like quick releases in the bedroom, but truthfully, allowing yourself to go on a journey in the bedroom to learn your body, learn the creases, the folds, and the rolls. Really learning to love that part of yourself because when you can love that part of yourself, that’s when things start changing. You have to be the one to love your body before you really truly can allow anyone else to love you that way. Learn to love your body where it’s at. Get comfortable being naked more often and the big one, stand in front of a mirror naked more often. Put yourself on that journey of just loving the fuck out your body. And believe it or not, it all ties into your fitness journey, and the outcome of their fitness journey. Because you can constantly workout, workout, workout but if you don’t love your body where you’re starting up, no matter where you end up, you’re still not going to love your body.
No matter what the scale reads, no matter what size you are, what shape you are, you are deserving and worthy of pleasure. You are deserving and worthy of all that you desire in and out of the bedroom.
You can find Ash on Instagram @AshThatFitSexCoach where there is also a link for her free Confidence Guide and Exercise Guide for Better Sex.
LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST EPISODE HERE On this solocast I talk about my evolution in self-acceptance, personal growth, the podcast, and how I continue to adapt to change. I share my personal reflections and thoughts on both myself and this podcast. The...