On this podcast episode, I talk to Freya Graf about connecting with your body, releasing tension and emotions, as well as addressing incontinence, painful sex, and the inability to orgasm through yoni mapping.
What is Yoni mapping?
Yoni mapping, or Yoni massage, refers to some form of vaginal or vulva massage. Yoni mapping therapy is a specific modality which involves vaginal massage, but it’s more holistic than your average yoni massage in that it incorporates several elements into the one session.
Each session is three hours long minimum. About half of the session involves talk therapy and sex education, building trust and rapport. Then I move into doing a full body massage to relax and honor the entire body. The last 45 minutes consists of an external vulva massage and then internal vaginal massage.During this time I also do a guided tour of the pleasure anatomy, the a-spot, the g-spot, the cervix, etc. This releases tension and some chronic holding patterns that can contribute to incontinence, pelvic floor weakness, painful sex or numbness, and the inability to orgasm. Additionally, on an emotional and energetic level, I’m also helping facilitate the release of trauma and stuck energy or memories and emotions that are being held in the tissues there.
Can yoni mapping help women connect with themselves on a deeper level?
Yes, absolutely. If you think about it, when we’re touched in that area, it’s typically only either medical and very clinical, or it’s sexual and erotic. In both of these scenarios, there’s usually a goal or a purpose, such as sexual gratification or a pap smear. We don’t actually get a lot of opportunities to just experience the sensations in our vaginas, in our vulva, to to be touched, not for any kind of goal where there’s nothing expected of us.
Yoni mapping is a beautiful co-creation because the practitioner is in service to you. They’re helping educate you. They’re showing you around your anatomy. And because it’s so neutral and therapeutic, it’s a beautiful space to just observe and be curious about your anatomy and the sensations you’re feeling or the emotions that are arising.
There’s no pressure being put on them. Nothing is being expected of them. It’s very slow and gentle so they’re not being rushed, they can just literally lie there and pay attention to what they’re experiencing. We’re building trust, we’re creating safety, we’re calming the nervous system, we’re relaxing the whole body before we ever get to the yoni work. By the time that they’re experiencing yoni massage, they’re so relaxed, they feel so safe, they feel so comfortable, you know, that allows for them to connect to that part of their body in a way that they usually never have before.
What should someone expect to happen when they come to you for their first yoni mapping experience?
Before a client comes in I have an intake form they complete that gives me relevant information on their sexual history, trauma history, contraception they may be using, medications, exercise regime, general health stuff, relationship status, and a lot of things around their sex life, and their menstrual cycle. Then I have them sign a consent form acknowledging that they’re aware that this is a session that involves internal vaginal massage, but that they are 100% in control the whole time. I make sure they understand that I will be asking them permission before I do anything involving genital touch.
Then we have a pot of tea and we sit down on the couch and have a chat. I’ll ask them questions to get a feel for where they’re at and what they’re struggling with, or what they might need some support with. It’s also just an opportunity for them to ask questions that they’ve always wanted to know related to sex, periods, vaginas, or their bodies.
When we finish the talking component, I frame what I’m going to do during the bodywork so that they’re completely prepared for what’s going to happen. Then I do a Kahuna massage. This massage is a very flowy and feminine holistic massage that is aimed at calming the nervous system and bringing the body back into equilibrium and relaxation so that by the time we move towards genital touch, they’re feeling very melty and relaxed and safe and comfortable.
Throughout I communicate with them about what I’m doing. I check in with how they’re feeling, what sensations they’re noticing, if any emotions are arising, basically we’re talking as we go to make sure that they’re not dissociating or checking out. When I move towards the yoni work, I ask permission before I start and then essentially I’m giving a guided tour during the process.
Afterwards, I send a follow up email with all the info and resources that I’ve recommended and home play practices.
How do you find a qualified practitioner to help you on this journey?
I always emphasize that it’s so important that you find a practitioner with a lot of integrity and a lot of thorough training because it is a very unregulated space. It’s a gray area really.
Try to find someone who’s been personally recommended by someone that you trust. Also, do your research. Look at their website; see if they have a lot of testimonials and reviews. See if they’ve got a lot of information about their credentials, their training and their philosophy.
You can look up accredited training, they’re quite rare, but you can look those up. Sometimes they’ll have a directory of qualified practitioners, and you can try and find one near you.
To learn more about yoni massage and how it helps you connect with your body and your pleasure, listen to episode 166: Yoni Mapping on the Vaginas, Vulvas, and Vibrators podcast.
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